Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Yes! If you really love your beautiful garden of dreams, you will never allow any hungry beast to have its way in. Keep dream killers away!

Persecution may wear an insulting face. Insults may come as a result of a Christian’s lifestyle, which should be different from that of the secular world.

You're absolutely right: Bob Grant is a racist, Bob Grant is a bigot, he's a despicable talk show host and I agree with that.

We want to empower our people; we want to strengthen them; we want to provide them with the kind of qualifications that will enable them to build up their own country themselves.

If you want anything done right you will have to see to it yourself every time.

Musicians playing together, it's a conversation, and ideally I want our conversation to be really intriguing and interesting and beautiful.

Do you need an audience to create work, or does not having an audience liberate you and make you a truer artist?

Perhaps some of us have to go through dark and devious ways before we can find the river of peace or the highroad to the soul's destination.

What we're always looking for is weird social issues and weird connections to make. Luckily for them, there's no shortage of material.

In my photography, color and composition are inseparable. I see in color.