Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

There is a level of positive anger that needed to be alive and to make a head way in this life.

There's nothing deeper than love. In fairy tales, the princesses kiss the frogs, and the frogs become princes. In real life, the princesses kiss princes, and the princes turn into frogs.

Science fiction is no more written for scientists than ghost stories are written for ghosts.

Although I'm Australian, I find myself much more in sympathy with the Austrian version!

the less you had, the more careful you had to be about everything you did have.

First. get clear on how you want to feel. Then, do stuff that makes you feel that way.

The lower sort of men must be indulged the consolation of finding fault with those above them; without that, they would be so melancholy that it would be dangerous, considering their numbers.

We do not believe in order to be regenerated; we must be regenerated in order that we might believe.

Fear is like fire; it can be helpful if you know how to use. If not, you'll get burned.

The arts and humanities teach us who we are and what we can be. They lie at the very core of the culture of which we're a part.