I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

Where are all the sour patch parents?

When you're good at something, you'll tell everyone. When you're great at something, they'll tell you.

I think before I act---and then think again. I am not entirely a coward, but I do not lose myself in action as you do.

I get up extremely early in the morning.

I do condition my hair with honey and beer. I smell like the bottom of a beer barrel for days afterwards, but it's very good for the hair.

Awakening into love is a lifelong path.

The more hideous the mental contortions, the greater the delight and bravos of the mass.

Prepare your mind to recieve the best that life has to offer.

It takes three or four women to get each man into, through, and out of the world.

It's not about perfection. What's a perfect painting? What's interesting about a perfect painting?