Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

I wish If you stayed much longer !

I thought, well, if we're inviting an audience, let's do it right. So I put in a proper studio audience at our studios in Los Angeles and it was just a little showcase and it was just for fun.

This is really America in therapy, people trying to get themselves together and be whole.

In ourselves are triumph and defeat.

My "home" is a controversial topic. I don't exactly have one. I live all over the world.

It makes it very hard to say what you believe in and not be attacked for it. And it's not fair; I'm Korean, but I'm not supposed to talk about my experience and my life? It's unaccepting.

Money is a poor indicator of success.

A lot of fans know that I love motorcycles. That's a big love of mine. I could spend days on the bike if I had the time.

If an actor ever says they really enjoy the auditioning process, I truly believe that they're lying. It's an anxiety-filled waking nightmare. It's awful.

The winners stun us not by their cleverness, but by the fact that every tiny aspect of the business is just a touch better than the norm.