Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

When the burden is too heavy on your heart. Cast the weight upon the Lord, for he cares that, you call out to his holy Name.

Your belief in yourself, is the Secret to Achieving anything you want.

Evolution is a part of nature. The world has strayed away from God, and now interprets its conception for the benefit of blissful ignorance.

I am drawn to women who are independent and creative, which is problematic because it's a struggle, a competition of careers. There's jealousy.

For ebbing resolution ne'er returns, But falls still further from its former shore.

The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide open spaces surrounded by teeth.

We worship education but hate learning.

Those who are not very concerned with art want poems or pictures to record for them something they already know - as one might want a picture of a place he loves.

Enjoy yourself because you can't change anything anyway

My recovery from manic depression has been an evolution, not a sudden miracle.