Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Focus on faith in God.

It’s not the circumstances that we should feel threatened by, it’s the fear of the circumstances that poses the real threat.

Water is becoming a very scarce resource on a daily basis. Therefore, we need to teach communities to preserve it since we can't afford to live without water.

Nothing is more magical than love.Nothing is more real than love.

Humour ended up being a really useful skill when it came time to be an international television celebrity.

Pope Francis announced that next year he is coming to the United States, or as Fox News is reporting it, 'Obama lets in yet another guy from South America.'

If you are truly wise, then you reflect the universe and you are relational in your approach to things. You are a mirror of infinity. That is wisdom.

Civil disobedience is the inherent right of a citizen.

When we damage the environment, we damage everything we depend on.

We can shape events in each other's brains with exquisite precision.