When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

The purpose of our life is to serve not to observe.

Scottish Theatre's greatest success story of recent times.

The air of one's native country is the most healthy air.

... success always worries academics, when it moves into the popular world.

What's your name?" "Emma Gould," she said. "What's yours?" "Wanted." "By all the girls or just the law?

Barbara Eden is the most beautiful girl in the world.

I live in L.A., so layers are essential to my wardrobe. I like slim silhouettes, typically, and I love good tailoring.

However little of anything you have, you can always find someone who has less. Find that someone, and give to them from the abundance that is yours.

Once you get a brother, you don’t give him up easy.

In a way, humans are not made of skin and bones as such, as we're made of stories.