When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

Im dating a very high-maintenance career.

I always lose the election in the polls, and I always win it on election day.

We will probably have to pay a price for devoting our lives to building the kingdom of God. Jesus did.

Every time you are not practicing someone else is.

I would not creep along the coast but steer Out in mid-sea, by guidance of the stars.

I'm comfortable with anything after the fact.

It is a world to see.

Bashar Assad clearly doesn't want to hear anything that impugns his government.

I would be psyched to get a phone call from Al Sharpton. I need to find out who does his hair. It's beautiful. It's a gorgeous mane.

I just love shows that don't hand everything to you, that ask you to be smarter. I think that's something really important that HBO has done to change the landscape of TV.