When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Actually, I'm an overnight success. But it took twenty years.

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain Not by the wine drunk but by the wine poured forth.

I have no complaints, except for the world.

Cosmopolitan critics, men who are the friends of every country save their own.

I believe any decline would lock in a Fed increase with some certainty.

Let me begin by saying, we were almost all wrong, and I certainly include myself here.

My father taught me that losing your temper is a self-indulgent act.

There were certain expectations that were assumed of me as a young black American 20th-century - then 20th-century artist.

For first you write a sentence, And then you chop it small; Then mix the bits and sort them out Just as they chance to fall: The order of the phrases makes no difference at all.

Everywhere in my house are these little things that have meanings and make me think of great memories.