What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

You only spoke a single line, yet it felt like a life sentence.

To nurture your career, it makes sense to cultivate your strengths. To nurture your moral core, it is necessary to confront your weaknesses.

Let a bill, or law, be read, in the one branch or the other, every one instantly thinks how it will affect his constituents.

There are angels near you to guide you and protect you, if you would but invoke them. It is not later than we think, it is a bigger world than we think.

The theory of evolution is totally inadequate to explain the origin and manifestation of the inorganic world.

Enough is ever-receding.

I think biologically we are attracted to more than one person, but given society and our needs, monogamy works better.

Don't take life too seriously.

Act after having made assessments. The one who first knows the measure of far and near wins - this is the rule of armed struggle.

Boredom, after all, is a form of criticism.