Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.

Let us do those things that our heart is asking us to do and from this day forth allow all souls that leave our presence feeling honored and deeply loved.

Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.

Hope is the biggest of our foolish things.

I've found that there is always some beauty left -- in nature, sunshine, freedom, in yourself; these can all help you.

Repression breeds hate; hate menaces stable government.

Everything we do is futile, but we must do it anyway.

I thought I wanted to be a lawyer and was going through this growth phase.

Everybody believes in innovation until they see it. Then they think, 'Oh, no; that'll never work. It's too different.'

In an undertone, I murmured, "This isn't over. I won't give up on you." "I've given up on you," he said back, voice also soft. "Love fades. Mine has.

It’s funny how one summer can change everything.