What I think is funny is when people, despite tragic situations, are still hopeful, still trying. It's sweet and sad - and, to me, hilarious.

I went to drama school at NYU for serious acting. So I was doing Chekov and Sam Shepard plays.

It's always great to get to do what you love and to do something that hopefully people will see and love.

Life is the one thing you cannot get out of alive.

Is it normal to make a minute-to-minute schedule for the timing of thanksgiving? I'm asking for a friend.

To clarify, the issue isn’t that I’m too fat, it’s that I’m too phat. Can I get a WHAT-WHAT!

I guess funny people are attracted to funny people, and then you get comedy marriages.

I have never turned to my girlfriend and said, Oh, okay, babe, and I see it in scripts all the time.

At my wedding, I was dancing so furiously that I fell hard on my kneecaps. The next morning, my knees were so swollen that I had to get a wheelchair at the airport to go on my honeymoon.

Pageants are already ridiculous and sad, I think.

Most of what's tricky about comedy is the perception of it and the audience's expectation.

If I've learned one thing in life, it's: Stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

Every day that goes by and we don't win a ballgame, that's a missed opportunity for us to battle back.

I'm the C.E.O., nominated by the shareholders. If they're not happy, I have to take the consequences.

Hope is the sun. It is light. It is passion. It is the fundamental force for life's blossoming.

I met Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, Engels and Mao when I entered prison and they redeemed me.

Jesus, to me, is a great world teacher among others.

Larousse Gastronomique is a veritable dictionary of cooking terms for the French kitchen. If a chef were allowed only one book, this would have to be it.

Tempus fugit (time flies).

We all have a few failures under our belt. It's what makes us ready for the successes.