We just want you to be happy. Rand and Marybeth said that all the time, but they never explained how.

There's a difference between really loving someone and loving the idea of her.

I don't understand the point of being together if you're not the happiest.

Because isn’t that the point of every relationship: to be known by someone else, to be understood? He gets me. She gets me. Isn’t that the simple magic phrase?

My dad had limitations. That's what my good-hearted mom always told us. He had limitations, but he meant no harm. It was kind of her to say, but he did do harm.

Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, windex commercial - you'd think all women do is clean and bleed.

Love makes you want to be a better man—right, right. But maybe love, real love, also gives you permission to just be the man you are.

...and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, 'That was fine'. And your life is a long line of fine.

Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again.

Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your spouse, your soul mate, and having him not like you?

We will have a happy marriage if it kills him.

An invention is a responsibility of the individual, society cannot invent, it can only applaud the invention and inventor.

I changed it. I had to. Do you know why?" She studied him, her eyes grave. "Because that was then and this is now. Because the past is gone, even though it defines the present.

It’s like they were worried that I’d be alone all day brooding and painting my cabin black or something—sheesh.

I was no longer following a trail. I was learning to follow myself.

I have come to see the nonsense of trying to describe fine scenery.

Incongruity, they say, is one of the main ingredients of humor. Maybe it's because everybody can feel superior to me. I honestly don't know.

We all just realized that I am terminally ill and I'm dying and I would just prefer to die with less pain and less suffering.

I'm a fully paid-up member of the human race.

Nothing is cheap which is superfluous, for what one does not need, is dear at a penny.

Actually, if my business was legitimate, I would deduct a substantial percentage for depreciation of my body.