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Dark Humor Quotes

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Dark Humor Quotes: "Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list."

Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.




Dark Humor Quotes: "I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself."

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.



Dark Humor Quotes: "In the end, we all die for what we believe in... mostly because we all die."

In the end, we all die for what we believe in... mostly because we all die.



Dark Humor Quotes: "He said, “If God lived on Earth people would stalk his Facebook page and leave nasty comments on his Pinterest site.” Then it sunk in- timing was everything and social media was the devil."

He said, “If God lived on Earth people would stalk his Facebook page and leave nasty comments on his Pinterest site.” Then it sunk in- timing was everything and social media was the devil.




Dark Humor Quotes: "Cheer up, the worst is yet to come."

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.



Dark Humor Quotes: "How much is real and for how long.."

How much is real and for how long..



Dark Humor Quotes: "You are so beautiful, I could eat you, ” he said.And it was true. Her smile was as intoxicating as the wine.And he could eat her."

You are so beautiful, I could eat you, ” he said.And it was true. Her smile was as intoxicating as the wine.And he could eat her.




Dark Humor Quotes: "The only thing which really seemed to pay off in life, if you went by Mary Pedersen's example, was sleeping with your superiors."

The only thing which really seemed to pay off in life, if you went by Mary Pedersen's example, was sleeping with your superiors.



Dark Humor Quotes: "Love is a madness. Love is Failer - Durzo Blint"

Love is a madness. Love is Failer - Durzo Blint



Dark Humor Quotes: "He comes.And he comesloadedwith noise pollution.If I ever prayed for anything, it was for a manto shut up."

He comes.And he comesloadedwith noise pollution.If I ever prayed for anything, it was for a manto shut up.



Dark Humor Quotes: "Oh get over it Cecilia! You are no longer human. Such decorum doesn’t exist amongst our kind"

Oh get over it Cecilia! You are no longer human. Such decorum doesn’t exist amongst our kind



Dark Humor Quotes: "Never a good sign, he thought, when the crows showed up."

Never a good sign, he thought, when the crows showed up.




Dark Humor Quotes: "Rap un zeal' Demon within. I might as well put up a giant 'Come and Get Eaten' sign for the good those warning runes do."

Rap un zeal' Demon within. I might as well put up a giant 'Come and Get Eaten' sign for the good those warning runes do.



Dark Humor Quotes: "Francis Ford Coppola - A man climbs a mountain and they call him a hero. I climb mountains that aren't even there."

Francis Ford Coppola - A man climbs a mountain and they call him a hero. I climb mountains that aren't even there.




Dark Humor Quotes: "Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes."

Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes.



Dark Humor Quotes: "Don't let 'em see they killed you!"

Don't let 'em see they killed you!



Dark Humor Quotes: "There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine."

There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine.



Dark Humor Quotes: "The idea of one's normality is delusional fact of the reality."

The idea of one's normality is delusional fact of the reality.



Dark Humor Quotes: "On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit."

On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit.




Dark Humor Quotes: "Magic. I draw with silver and it turns red."

Magic. I draw with silver and it turns red.



Dark Humor Quotes: "It would be hilariously tragic if I avoided the rabids, avoided the sun, only to be fried to a crisp on a damn electric fence because I was too impatient."

It would be hilariously tragic if I avoided the rabids, avoided the sun, only to be fried to a crisp on a damn electric fence because I was too impatient.



Dark Humor Quotes: "It doesn’t matter what other people think when you’re right - John Cleaver"

It doesn’t matter what other people think when you’re right - John Cleaver



Dark Humor Quotes: "Sow a thought and reap an action, sow an action and reap a habit, sow a habit and reap a destiny - John Cleaver"

Sow a thought and reap an action, sow an action and reap a habit, sow a habit and reap a destiny - John Cleaver



Dark Humor Quotes: "Terry loved candlelight dinners and red wine. It was a nice contrast from work.And killing people."

Terry loved candlelight dinners and red wine. It was a nice contrast from work.And killing people.



Dark Humor Quotes: "He was a strange mix of Heinrich Himmler and Barney the Dinosaur."

He was a strange mix of Heinrich Himmler and Barney the Dinosaur.



Dark Humor Quotes: "In the beginning there was Logos...and God of course. And it was all extremely boring for Logos because he could never beat God at any game..."

In the beginning there was Logos...and God of course. And it was all extremely boring for Logos because he could never beat God at any game...



Dark Humor Quotes: "You have really nice teeth, ” Terry said and thought they could be excellent for his collection of human body parts."

You have really nice teeth, ” Terry said and thought they could be excellent for his collection of human body parts.



Dark Humor Quotes: "If you want to convince a criminal to see things your way, start by seeing things theirs."

If you want to convince a criminal to see things your way, start by seeing things theirs.



Dark Humor Quotes: "So I heard the boom of my father's rifle when he shot my best friend. A bullet only costs about two cents, and anybody can afford that."

So I heard the boom of my father's rifle when he shot my best friend. A bullet only costs about two cents, and anybody can afford that.



Dark Humor Quotes: "Maybe tranquility is the dirt under my nails. I know it's there but I never feel like digging it out."

Maybe tranquility is the dirt under my nails. I know it's there but I never feel like digging it out.



Dark Humor Quotes: "I'm as lucky as a bed of oysters on cioppino night."

I'm as lucky as a bed of oysters on cioppino night.



Dark Humor Quotes: "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's fun and games you can't see anymore."

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's fun and games you can't see anymore.



Dark Humor Quotes: "... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything."

... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.



Dark Humor Quotes: "I hear they make greeting cards now to thank your therapist... for NOTHING"

I hear they make greeting cards now to thank your therapist... for NOTHING



Dark Humor Quotes: "Try & try until you cannot succeed."

Try & try until you cannot succeed.



Dark Humor Quotes: "This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track."

This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track.



Dark Humor Quotes: "Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again."

Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again.



Dark Humor Quotes: "This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track. (Dark City Lights)"

This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track. (Dark City Lights)



Dark Humor Quotes: "While art thrives on the blazing colours of scandal, literature blossoms on the dark soil of tragedy."

While art thrives on the blazing colours of scandal, literature blossoms on the dark soil of tragedy.



Dark Humor Quotes: "If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd."

If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.



Dark Humor Quotes: "I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are."

I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are.



Dark Humor Quotes: "Daddy is jive talkingand showering the stripperMommy is sleepwalkingwhile changing baby's diaper"

Daddy is jive talkingand showering the stripperMommy is sleepwalkingwhile changing baby's diaper



Dark Humor Quotes: "...do you have someone you can stay with? Hell, stay with your mother. The Pentagon doesn’t have the security system she’s g"

...do you have someone you can stay with? Hell, stay with your mother. The Pentagon doesn’t have the security system she’s g



Dark Humor Quotes: "Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure"

Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure



Dark Humor Quotes: "One hand was behind his back, and he held it out, presenting a bouquet of white and smoky purple lilies. “They’re straight from the underworld, by the way. They are everlasting. They won’t die."

One hand was behind his back, and he held it out, presenting a bouquet of white and smoky purple lilies. “They’re straight from the underworld, by the way. They are everlasting. They won’t die.



Dark Humor Quotes: "In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day."

In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.



Dark Humor Quotes: "Are we not all actors playing parts in another person's play?"

Are we not all actors playing parts in another person's play?