Unless your kid is Pele Jr., they're not going to be able to feed themselves from soccer. If your kid knows how to play soccer, but not make dinner, you have done them a disservice.

I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean.

Culinary tradition is not always based on fact. Sometimes it's based on history, on habits that come out of a time when kitchens were fueled by charcoal.

Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

My college degree was in theater. But the real reason, if I have any success in that milieu, so to speak, is because I spent a lot of years directing, I spent a lot of years behind the camera

Laughing brains are more absorbent.

Cooking is an observation-based process that you can't do if you're so completely focused on a recipe.

So on one hand, honey is an amazingly sophisticated and efficient food source. On the other hand, it's bee backwash.

I had kicked around the idea for Good Eats when I was directing commercials.

A lot of food shows need only to tempt. Some food shows only need to inspire, to empower. And there are a lot of shows that do that.

Write about the dream you see during consciousness.

When your heart truly adores somebody, your mind perceives a halo on that man's head.

You can see a person's whole life in the cancer they get.

It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

It was absolutely perfect. You can handle this large aircraft as you can handle a bicycle.

The only woman a wife should ever be jealous of is her husband's mom.

I kept talking to my producers at Columbia about recording one of those [prison] shows. So we went into Folsom on February 11, 1968, and recorded a show live.

In general, I do not agree with spying against one's country.

It's about people who take their frustration out on everyone around them. I never raise my voice. Cutting myself or hurting myself is the way I deal with anger.