They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

He, who don’t know the Almighty God don’t know what He knows for what he knows, knows the Almighty God as the Supreme God!

A bumper sticker from the 1970s read, “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

The air between them began to settle into a silence. Awkward, yet softly exciting. Like an unexpected snow day.

I do not stand on protocol. If you just call me Excellency it will be okay.

Business, labor and civil society organizations have skills and resources that are vital in helping to build a more robust global community.

After Watergate, which happened when I was in college, I became increasingly inspired by journalism as a way to change the world. It sounds corny, but to wake the public up, to serve a higher cause.

There was an Old Person of Bray, Who sang through the whole of the day To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs, That valuable Person of Bray.

I'm not more or less conscious than any other rapper out there.

I played with the Birmingham Black Barons. I was making 500 at 14. That was a lot of money in those days.

It's not in good taste to have talking ghosts in a grown-up novel.