These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

All you have to do is put one word after another, and remember how great it feels to be a writer.

Fantasy is one of the soul's brighter porcelains.

Not to be the salt and light on earth is to lack understanding

Where is the good memories ? Where is Love ?

The earth has grown a nervous system, and it's us.

We're two fools, you know, " he said, looking into her eyes. "I don't remember the moment I fell in love with you, but I breathe it in every minute, every day.

My cousins and I used to play Beatle wives. We all wanted to be married to Paul, but John was O.K. too. None of us wanted Ringo. Or even worse, George.

The connection which formerly existed between the Government and banks was in reality injurious to both, as well as to the general interests of the community at large.

That's what the world is like: people talk as if they knew everything, but ifyou dare to ask a question, they don't know anything.

There is something absurd in supposing a continent to be perpetually governed by an island.