There hasn't been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out.

It's all about self-esteem now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip-clubs?

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?

You try not to have a favorite when you have sons or kids. Can't have a favorite. Can't let them know know if you do. I don't. I treat my main son and the other two exactly the same way.

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

Seventy-two virgins - does that make sense to anyone? And it's an ancient religion, maybe it was misinterpreted? Maybe it's not 72 virgins, maybe it's a 7-foot-2 Persian.

I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

What is the essence of Vitrag? Fearlessness!

Love is the most integral function of our lives. That is why LOVE is only one letter away from LIVE.

And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males.

And the only reason for making honey is so as I can eat it.

What creates happiness, peace, and balance is not becoming simply powerful, but knowledgeable.

Say Goodnight Gracie.

The anger of the LORD will not turn back until he has executed and accomplished the intents of his mind.

Either you believe in markets, or you believe in government.

I love working with actors. I do.

People don't remember each tree in a park but all of us benefit from the trees. And in a way, artists are like trees in a park.