There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

You have a responsibility to act for others when you're the only person in a position to do so. It's how you handle it that separates the great from the mediocre.

Close your EYES, hear the RAIN, and listen to my WORDS.

I'm so patriotic, I think every British kid should have a chance to grow up to be our head of state.

Life is denied by lack of attention whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece.

We all posses different gifts and abilities. How we use those gifts determines who we are.

I'm very judgmental person. It's one of my faults.

I used to trip over my legs and get detention for my too-short shorts because none fit. I still trip, but now I like to show them off.

I feel that I speak the musical language.

Pakistan produces people of extraordinary bravery. But no nation should ever require its citizens to be that brave.

Know'st not whate'er we do is done in love?