Then I will tape the sets and even though I'm not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

Warriors will always have wounds from the battle, but they are only stronger from them.

Don't spend your time fetching water with a basket for it will never get filled up

My husband John Lennon was a very special man. A man of humble origin, he brought light and hope to the whole world with his words and music.

Revolt and terror pay a price. Order and law have a cost.

You, me, & your papa are 3 of the tiny percentage of souls on this miserable earth who've figured out that playing ball is the highest purpose God ever invented the human male body for.

The Holy Spirit's main ministry is not to give thrills but to create in us Christlike character.

During the 19th-century struggle for womens rights in America, many saw a competition between rights for black people and those for women.

I couldn't live without music. I experienced things through music in different countries where you cannot speak the same language, but the music and the dance relates everything.

As far as ethnicity, you grow up being sensitive to things around you and then become more proactive about it.

I'm very happy to have a small, long, career instead of one big hit and then oblivion.