The reigning Miss Canada has been arrested for punching out another woman in a bar fight.Quite frankly, I think it's refreshing to finally find one beauty pageant winner who is against world peace.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Count your blessings and be grateful not a great fool.

The very first condition of lasting happiness is that a life should be full of purpose aiming at something outside self.

It is far better to be happy than to have your bodies act as graveyards for animals. Accordingly, the apostle [St.] Matthew partook of seeds, nuts and vegetables, without meat.

How sweet to remember the trouble that is past.

There's no true value placed in learning, if the point of you learning something is to simply know it for a test, to get a grade, to go to the good school.

I can't go to the hardware store, cut a sheet in half and staple it to the window anymore. It doesn't fly.

We want to annoy the whenever we can. The best thing we can do with environmentalists is shoot them.

My teachers could easily have ridden with Jesse James for all the time they stole from me.

Examine the present and learn from the past to see how the future will unfold. Too often we just look at the present and base our actions solely on that.

I had just settled Grandma on her folding chair and popped open our box lunch when the corpse floated by.