I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.

You can run a business any way you like, but you'll run it better if you build it around your strengths.

Sometimes a good love song can change the world and create positive energy more than any political song can.

Gossip is a sort of smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.

I'm not interested in being commodified. I'm not into being sold. I'm not a slave.

Every man should be capable of all ideas.

I'm tired of thinking and I'm really tired of Feeling. —Jenna Richards

Never be too busy to listen to your instinctive feelings when something feels wrong.

What inspires me is not so much the music as the opportunity to interact with composers. I think that has driven everything I've done.

I am very slow to warm. I've always been sort of a loner. I didn't play team sports. I am better one-on-one than in big groups

If you give me a short shot I will attack you. I'm not a baseliner who rallies. I try to get the point over with.