The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

I was prom king. Which is actually saying I was the sixth most popular, because the five who were on homecoming were automatically disqualified from prom, so of course I have to look at it that way.

Human development, not secularization, is what's key to women's empowerment in the transforming Middle East.

I started as a director and just fell upon acting.

I don't care how old your children get, you're always a dad.

For each man there awaits... a particular image capable of annihilating the entire universe.

What you do should speak so loudly that no one will hear what you say.

My grandmother always said, 'when you receive a paycheck, you always have to put a certain amount to your savings, and 10 percent right away to charity.'

Everything I do is metal. When I clean my house, it's metal.

Colonialism is the massive fog that has clouded our imaginations regarding who we could be, excised our memories of who we once were, and numbed our understanding of our current existence.