The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.

A writer's role was never just to tell stories, but to create a world to encompass and share with others.

You will finally have dignity when you realize that you are not on the path, but have become the path for others.

I'm a born-again atheist.

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.

When people start talking of man's inhumanity to man it means they haven't actually walked far enough.

I was analyzing the guys' nonverbal communication.

It's hard for a person to try to keep his stuff together being nominated for something and then performing onstage.

I definitely didn't fit in perfectly to the school system. I was raised with such freedom of speech and thinking.

Work hard, be steady, and have faith in the Lord. Set to work.

Human behavior in the midst of hardship caught my attention very early on, and my first stories were all pictures, no words.