The great man... walks across his century and leaves the marks of his feet all over it, ripping out the dates on his goloshes as he passes.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!

I'd also made the first tennis team. I was number two player in the school at 11 years of age and that didn't sit very well with people.

And I always tried to be not a star. To be someone who people like to talk to.

Man lives consciously for himself, but is an unconscious instrument in the attainment of the historic, universal, aims of humanity.

Let's talk about the Gas Company because this is my favorite job.

Humiliating people in the name of religion is the practice of someone deprived of the first fruit of religion, #‎ humility .

My fame is largely due to young people, theyre the first ones to discover me.

My appointed work is to awaken the divine nature that is within.

When they're standing right in front of you, kings are a kind of speech impediment.