The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can't be beat.

If Satch (Paige) and I were pitching on the same team, we would clinch the pennant by July fourth and go fishing until World Series time.

Son, what kind of pitch would you like to miss?

All ballplayers want to wind up their careers with the Cubs, Giants or Yankees. They just can't help it.

It ain't bragging if you can do it.

Let the teachers learn the kids English. Ol' Diz will learn the kids baseball.

Me and Paul (Dean) will probably win forty games (they won forty-nine).

I ain't what I used to be, but who the hell is?

I only went to the third grade because my father only went to the fourth and I didn't want to pass him.

I was blessed with a strong arm and a weak mind.

It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

You jeopardize all if move slowly on a fast lane.

Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.

I've become 40, my audience is partly the same age.

One thing about the business and investing world that I connect to very intimately is that there is little room to deny the harsh realities of your mistakes. A bad call can lose you many millions.

I believe that Christianity trains black people, especially black women, to think like slaves, and I believe that Islam is mainly fueled by its hatred for women.

Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.

Hope is wanting something so eagerly that-in spite of all the evidence that you're not going to get it-you go right on wanting it.

It is folly to fear what cannot be avoided.