The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line.

As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he is lonely.

FOOVIEW (foo' view) n. The ability of a dog to inflict guilt from any angle in the room while he watches his master eat.

Manhandling the open here spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the illegal side.

Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball.

I always felt that a scientist owes the world only one thing, and that is the truth as he sees it.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

Honestly, I just try to drink lots of water and get a decent amount of sleep!

I treat the camera like a person—I gaze into it. Photos are a flat thing, and you need to put life into them.

The mind has grown to its present state of consciousness as an acorn grows into an oak, or as saurians developed into mammals.

I'm gonna let him hit one.

The job of the novelist is to invent: to embroider, to color, to embellish, to entertain, to make things up. The art of what I do lies not in research or even recollection but primarily in invention.

I long to journey endlessly, always in search of something new. Always alert.

The Victorian woman became her ovaries, as today's woman has become her "beauty.