The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.

We may not always see eye to eye, but we can try to see heart to heart.

Patience is key for getting over a breakup. That, and trailing off your interaction after the breakup.

I did not want my tombstone to read, 'She kept a really clean house.' I think I'd like them to remember me by saying, 'She opened government to everyone.'

The night was ordinary. It usually is, I think, when your life changes. Most people aren't doing anything special when the carefully placed pieces of their life break apart.

The American Dream, coupled with government subsidies of utilities and cheap consumer goods courtesy of slave labour somewhere else, has kept the poor huddled masses from rising up.

Boldness is a crucial element of genius.

Im always intrigued when you are travelling through a place and there is somebody who has lived there and done the same job for years.

I sold my soul for the second time, cause' the man don't pay me.

Sins become more subtle as you grow older: you commit sins of despair rather than of lust.

I am not a trained writer and I don't think anyone would accuse me of being a funny person. But I feel God has truly blessed me.

If I knew where I was going to want to live the next five or 10 years I would buy a home and I'd finance it with a 30-year mortgage... It's a terrific deal.