Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Darren wasn’t darkness, and I wasn’t his light.

Don't mistake dramatics for a conscience.

Love is all about guts. If you have it, you fight with the world. If you don’t, you fight with yourself.

War is not an adventure. It is a disease. It is like typhus.

Life is very short and what we have to do must be done in the now.

I love America. It's Americans I can't stand.

Once you acknowledge that reality is not your enemy, it will no longer be your enemy.

How I'd love, love, love, to dance with my Father again.

I know we loved each other, but distance can do strange things to people and before I was willing to tell you about it, I wanted to be certain that it would last

I don't see myself as weird, I just see myself as honest.