Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

You are my angel.

Nostalgia was never what it used to be.

Every woman I have ever known has made a lasting impression on my soul.

Laws of Nature are God's thoughts thinking themselves out in the orbs and the tides.

If the hill will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet will go to the hill.

Pardon one offence, and you encourage the commission of many.

People rarely buy what they need. They buy what they want.

Christianity is the best way to cure gayness — just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.

You are lucky in life if you have the right heroes. I advise all of you, to the extent you can, to pick out a few heroes