Some days you tame the tiger, and some days the tiger has you for lunch.

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste.

Ten million years from now, when then sun burns out and the Earth is just a frozen iceball hurtling through space, nobody's going to care whether or not I got this guy out.

What is the difference between astroturf and grass? I don't know, I never smoked astroturf.

Kids should practice autographing baseballs. This is a skill that's often overlooked in Little League.

I have no trouble with the twelve inches between my elbow and my palm. It's the seven inches between my ears that's bent.

Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed.

We called Pete Rose and Larry Bowa the soup spoons, because they were always stirring things up. Twenty years later, nothing's changed.

I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.

When I come into a game in the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, no one out and a one-run lead ... it takes people off my mind.

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf. (When asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

Moving pictures need sound as much as Beethoven symphonies need lyrics.

Color exists simultaneously with form. Both elements are constantly associated but color strikes you more - a rose for instance - sometimes form - the human body.

Learn to live more in the Self. Come down a little bit to eat and talk as necessary.

I don't wish to inhabit the human world under false pretences.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

There is nothing sweeter in this sad world than the sound of someone you love calling your name.

Hard-core structural poverty has a counterpart at the apex: hard-core structural affluence.

Golf is a difficult game, but it's a little easier if you trust your instincts. It's too hard a game to try to play like someone else.