Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Now is your time. Go for it! It is never too late, or too early, to begin living the adventures of which you have always dreamed.

There is no banquet but some dislike something in it.

Rhetoric may be defined as the faculty of observing in any given case the available means of persuasion. This is not a function of any other art.

When the business interests... pushed through the first installment of civil service reform in 1883, they expected that they would be able to control both political parties equally.

I think it's a slippery slope to fabricate a different life.

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

Faith is not the opposite of reason.

People change all the time whether you like it or not.

The physical world is meaningless tonight And there is no other.

There are two kinds of success-initial and ultimate.