As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

Someone once said that a minesweeper makes only two mistakes: the first is when he decides to be one. The second …

One human life is worth more than all the treasures of the earth.

Willfulness must give way to willingness and surrender. Mastery must yield to mystery.

If we ever walk in streets paved with gold, we will have placed it there ourselves.

Men are not supposed to be mysterious. That's what you say about women. But I think men can have a little of it, too.

I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are.

Sometimes when you're given hurdles, it makes you more creative in the end.

Few animals display their mood via facial expressions as distinctly as cats.

But neither of us knows, because a fight's worth nothing if you know from the start that you're going to win it.

But the big feature of human-level intelligence is not what it does when it is works but what it does when it's stuck.