REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you.

Where do you go when you die twice-lest a thousand deaths?

Lose not yourself in a far off time, seize the moment that is thine.

Raising a child is a little like Picasso's work; in the beginning he did very conventional representational things. Cubism came after he had the rules down pat.

Women will change the nature of power, rather than power changing the nature of women.

Mention not a halter in the house of him that was hanged.

The practice of violence, like all action, changes the world, but the most probable change is a more violent world.

Experience, which destroys innocence, also leads one back to it.

Life is about growing and evolving. I feel like my life has been in stages, and the stages I went through when I was younger allowed me to grow into the man I am today.

There are only two states of being in the world of codependency - recovery and denial.