President Bush says now he is sticking to his plan for handing over power to the Iraqis on June 30. It's also part of his plan to hand over power to John Kerry on January 20.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

If you encounter the light, you shall never walk in darkness.

Self-deprecation is the appropriate response of any new convert, as he matches his stained soul against the purity of God.

God, send me an angel from the heavens above. Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love, 'cause all I do is cry. God, send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes.

I have a strong constitution which has served me quite well, though if I hadn't had such a strong one I might have led a more healthy life perhaps.

I've never been helpless, I just have powerful enemies

I hope the English-speaking world can see that I'm not only an Israeli actress.

The difference between being ordinary and extraordinary is doing the right thing while nobody is watching.

Humble people ask for help.

I also have a degree in marriage, family and child counseling - I'm a therapist.