Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

To 'know Thyself' is considered quite an accomplishment.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.

One day we both are going to realize that our Friendship was worth the fight.

Courage of the mind far surpasses that of the body.

Values aren't buses, " she said shortly. "They're not supposed to get you anywhere. They're supposed to define who you are. And I'd rather be touchy-feely than morally bankrupt.

Muscles do not use oxygen at a constant rate.

I have seen landscapes . . . which, under a particular light, make me feel that at any moment a giant might raise his head over the next ridge.

Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity, you will become a statistic.

It's easier to teach a poet how to read a balance sheet than it is to teach an accountant how to write.

The gods have given you wealth and the means of enjoying it.