People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

if being is many, it must be both like and unlike, and this is impossible, for neither can the like be unlike, nor the unlike like

He was a bureaucrat, not a hitman, and most of the time that's what supervillainy looks like in real life.

The people who care about you may not tell you your blind spots fearing to offend/hurt you. Open up and ask their feedback and get enlightened.

It is the necessary nature of a political party in this country to avoid, as long as it can be avoided, the consideration of any question which involves a great change.

The truest writers are those who see language not as a linguistic process but as a living element.

Anybody who is an ambitious politician would never ever aspire to a Vice Presidency. And yet, people find themselves in that position, and so, therein lies the rub.

The thing I call ‘my mind’ seems to be kind of like a landlord that doesn’t really know its tenants.

It turns out Cuba has this incredible healthcare system for a very poor country.

For centuries, magicians have intuitively taken advantage of the inner workings of our brains.

But, hey I did everything the right way and earned my spot in this game, nothing was given to me.