People skills are useless with cats, because cats are immune to training, and do whatever they decide in any situation... And most importantly they aren’t human.

The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that.

The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even bothered to have sent over to them. I'll never know...

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit.

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.

Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday.

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.

To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night...

There’s a big difference between being numb to something and being immune to it.

We should choose our thoughts carefully. We can think about what is wrong with our lives or about what is right with them.

The American city should be a collection of communities where every member has a right to belong. It should be a place where every man feels safe on his streets and in the house of his friends.

Men and women, they were beautiful and wild, all a little violent under their pleasant ways and only a little tamed.

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.

The moment we indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed.

It isn't until you begin to fight in your own cause that you (a) become really committed to winning, and (b) become a genuine ally of other people struggling for their freedom.

I feel that much of the world's sorrow comes from people who are this, yet allow themselves to be treated as that.

Your sole purpose in life is to attain God-realization. All else is useless and worthless.

The next time you get nervous about others opinions, look them mentally in the eye and say, "What you think of me is none of my business."