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Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes

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Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "The best Christmas present you can give to your dead grandfather is not showing up until Easter. And telling no one about it. Especially not yourself."

The best Christmas present you can give to your dead grandfather is not showing up until Easter. And telling no one about it. Especially not yourself.




Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life."

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "People skills are useless with cats, because cats are immune to training, and do whatever they decide in any situation... And most importantly they aren’t human."

People skills are useless with cats, because cats are immune to training, and do whatever they decide in any situation... And most importantly they aren’t human.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizard. And no one knows what French wizards are good at…"

My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizard. And no one knows what French wizards are good at…




Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "I'll catch any rose in my vase-shaped heart, then process it through my vascular system, until there's nothing left."

I'll catch any rose in my vase-shaped heart, then process it through my vascular system, until there's nothing left.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Everything is like a wall. Said a scholar to the troll. Bang your head to go on through. Then you'll see, there is no queue."

Everything is like a wall. Said a scholar to the troll. Bang your head to go on through. Then you'll see, there is no queue.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "I sometimes go to a mythical place called "workplace", where the doable is always unpassable as possible, especially when it pisses you off."

I sometimes go to a mythical place called "workplace", where the doable is always unpassable as possible, especially when it pisses you off.




Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly be better than him, to replace the missing spoke in your wheels."

If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly be better than him, to replace the missing spoke in your wheels.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit."

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective."

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night..."

To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night...



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even bothered to have sent over to them. I'll never know..."

The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even bothered to have sent over to them. I'll never know...




Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Eating pizza is like having a little heaven in your nose. Wait, that's not what you eat pizza with. I always get it confused with pizza-pie."

Eating pizza is like having a little heaven in your nose. Wait, that's not what you eat pizza with. I always get it confused with pizza-pie.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Dark alleys, like social networks, are romantic, because you never know what might happen while I perform there every Caturday night. Cats do know, but won't tell. So don’t even ask."

Dark alleys, like social networks, are romantic, because you never know what might happen while I perform there every Caturday night. Cats do know, but won't tell. So don’t even ask.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "The more you believe, the more you'll be leaving you, when what you believed turns out to be just lies. Or unjust lies. Or any lies, anyway."

The more you believe, the more you'll be leaving you, when what you believed turns out to be just lies. Or unjust lies. Or any lies, anyway.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"

I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "I fake fake to have a fake life. Does that make me a real horse? Buy now for $777, wooden saddle sold separately. Real horseshoes not included. Imaginary ones – neither."

I fake fake to have a fake life. Does that make me a real horse? Buy now for $777, wooden saddle sold separately. Real horseshoes not included. Imaginary ones – neither.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow."

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet."

I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday."

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Why just order a pizza, when you can get a restraining order for the delivery guys, make them come to you, sue them, and get all the profit?"

Why just order a pizza, when you can get a restraining order for the delivery guys, make them come to you, sue them, and get all the profit?



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "I don't sleep. I just let my body lie itself into numbness and lie to myself that I can't hear, see, or feel anything."

I don't sleep. I just let my body lie itself into numbness and lie to myself that I can't hear, see, or feel anything.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship nothing, really."

As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship nothing, really.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "#Cats are marvelous creatures - they either adapt to circumstances, or decide to make circumstances adapt to them. Either way - they win."

#Cats are marvelous creatures - they either adapt to circumstances, or decide to make circumstances adapt to them. Either way - they win.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "If Jarod Kintz was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at them for no good reason, like all the good people do."

If Jarod Kintz was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at them for no good reason, like all the good people do.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Wasting time on timing stuff is a good way to save time from being wasted on other pointless activities like writing, reading, and sleeping."

Wasting time on timing stuff is a good way to save time from being wasted on other pointless activities like writing, reading, and sleeping.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Social networks are so full of wasted time - they could be compared to a waste disposal system. Flush, before you go and waste no time to go."

Social networks are so full of wasted time - they could be compared to a waste disposal system. Flush, before you go and waste no time to go.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Fluttershyes are like regular shyes, only shinier, and, apparently - also shyer. Whenever petted - they don't flutter, but run away instead."

Fluttershyes are like regular shyes, only shinier, and, apparently - also shyer. Whenever petted - they don't flutter, but run away instead.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any."

When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible."

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think."

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Why work today? I'll take Tuesday on, just like I took Monday off. That's just the kind of dedicated worker I am."

Why work today? I'll take Tuesday on, just like I took Monday off. That's just the kind of dedicated worker I am.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)"

Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "If I did sales - my technique would be to hand-seal each deal with gourmet omelets, by Jarod Kintz's secret invisible recipe that I stole."

If I did sales - my technique would be to hand-seal each deal with gourmet omelets, by Jarod Kintz's secret invisible recipe that I stole.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Prosperity is always built on slave labor. Ask any Ameri-can't. Or Bulgari-can. Yes, we can, eat from a trash can..."

Prosperity is always built on slave labor. Ask any Ameri-can't. Or Bulgari-can. Yes, we can, eat from a trash can...



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that."

The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Translating from #cat is easy - you just ignore everything, then you decide what you want it to have said, thought, or wanted."

Translating from #cat is easy - you just ignore everything, then you decide what you want it to have said, thought, or wanted.



Will Advise, Nothing Is Here... Quotes: "Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use."

Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use.