People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

There is a fascinating entanglement of science and knowledge, which is expressed as scientific knowledge.

The fact that compulsive drives for success will arise only in a competitive culture does not make them any less neurotic.

My weakness is that I care so much!!! She knew my weakness and USED ME as long as she wants!

Peace is the virtue of civilization. War is its crime.

I am sure that no man can derive more pleasure from money or power than I do from seeing a pair of basketball goals in some out of the way place.

An affirmation to say everyday: The healing power of God is working in me right now. Eveyr day I get better and better in every way.

There is no such thing as being done with an artistic life. Frustrations and rewards exist at all levels on the path.

You also, O son Brutus. [Lat., Et tu, Brute fili.]

A $50 haircut, cool glasses, skinny jeans and a tattoo does not a prophet make.

Don't think that examining and knowing the nature of your mind is just an Eastern trip. That's a wrong conception. It's your trip.