Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Without a vivid picture of what you want, how can you reach it?

My heart is aching for the people of Nice, Italy. I am so sad that I have no words to express my frustration.

Kissing with the tip of the tongue is like ice-cream melting. It was he who taught me that a kiss has a soul and colour of its own.

If you want to live a life free of regret, there is an option open to you. It’s called a lobotomy.

It's hard to be careful, though, when you feel indestructible.

All human unhappiness comes from not facing reality squarely, exactly as it is.

I think graffiti is part of Berlin culture. You think about what the Berlin wall meant and how visible that was in everyone's life. How it was a part of their very identity.

Redemption is not perfection. The redeemed must realize their imperfections.

I feel that working environmentalists are, in the main, happier than armchair environmentalists.

I think I'm a happy man, and I'm a blessed man. I have been able to adjust to any situation, whatever it was, in my life.