My random acts of violence weren't random. They were premeditated.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

He stood straight then, moving to stand directly in front of me as he dropped low and bowed dramatically. "Your Majesty.

A friend is a lot of things, but a critic isn't.

For lips, I'm into mauves, and I like a little shimmer. I have this Dior lip gloss I love right now called Pearl. It's pink and has shimmer. I don't like anything overdone.

Mysticism is the study of power, its use, and its abuse. At every moment you are getting stronger or you are growing weaker. At every moment your attention field is increasing or decreasing.

One is not converted to christianity; one must be morbid enough for it.

My God, I'm four hundred years old and the most I can do is look three hundred.

I think I would go further into fine arts, I think, if I were to continue.

It were worthwhile to die, if thereby a soul could be born again.

I think there's something about studying a book which will kill it if you're not careful.

I don't know how to run your life. I don't know how to run your life. I don't have the authority to run your life. And the Constitution doesn't permit me to run your life.