Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

If you wish to be a writer– then write, and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you’re on the ‘wrong’ path. You know where you’re going, and each word you write gets you a step closer.

[Families] are made to make you forget yourself occasionally so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed.

To describe happiness is to diminish it.

My focus is incredibly narrow. I can't talk with any authority other than design and development of product.

American democracy is in grave danger from the changes in the environment in which ideas either live and spread or wither and die.

Yoga doesn't ask you to be more than you are. But it does ask you to be all that you are.

There is a German proverb which says that Take-it-Easy and Live-Long are brothers.

I called my training camp Fighter's Heaven

Some people come into your life and leave a mark.

What a lot of work it was to found the Roman race.