Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

It is highly significant and indeed almost a rule, that moral courage has its source in such identification through one's own sensitivity with suffering of one's fellow human beings." (p. 16-17)

When you think there is nothing left to improve on, your business dies, for there is no shortage of innovators

Strategic Thinking starts with the end in mind.

A crack of lightning, an explosion of thunder, the sound of pounding rain.

Photography is a tool for dealing with things everybody knows about but isn’t attending to. My photographs are intended to represent something you don’t see.

we shed the skins of who we used to be!

The moment one is on the side of life; peace and security drop out of consciousness. The only peace, the only security, is in fulfillment.

Life is a great experience. Dignity is a treasure.

Many more people in the world are concerned about sports than human rights.

We don't ask what the Bible says, we ask what God says to us in that Bible. The difference is a difference between paper and person.