It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If only I can find him... the man who will be intelligent, yet physically magnetic and personable. If I can offer that combination, why shouldn't I expect it in a man?

As for Doing-good...I have tried it fairly, and, strange as it may seem, am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.

Who hit you?""Clara.""Clara!""She whaled me one in return for upsetting you. Well, at least, that was the main reason.

False judges are held up in the world's admiration and I alone know the true ones.

I cared not where or how I lived, or what hardships I went through, so I could but gain souls to Christ

America, ladies and gentlemen, has done more for me financially than Britain ever has, or ever could have done.

Man is free; but not unless he believes he is[.]

Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.

You ignorant little rodent! This isn't just an old book. This is the book of Everafter." "Sorry, I haven't read it. I'm waiting for the movie," Puck said.

The whole world is put in motion by the wish for riches and the dread of poverty.