It's weird, huh? It's like the minute you kinda give up control you just know what to do without doing anything.

Make all your decisions based on how hilarious it would be if you did it.

If you feel like a weirdo, it's okay because weirdos rule the world.

I'm too awkward to date, I think. I'm kind of all or nothing, you know? Either put a baby inside of me or leave me alone.

I'm like that person who hates going to magic shows - and I love magic, I love wizards - but going to a show where there is any possibility of audience participation is a nightmare for me.

I always want to keep growing and keep surprising people, and showing them different parts of me.

I think being on a TV show is amazing but also, people get kind of used to seeing you a certain way and so it becomes a challenge to break free from that in a way.

I don't let myself 'surf' on the Web, or I would probably drown.

I've had experiences in my life where I've met certain people that have opened up something in me and given me hope and a new outlook on life.

My grandfather came over from Puerto Rico and raised his kids speaking English so that it would be easier for them to assimilate.

If I have the option, I always read the paper or a book or something I can touch and destroy in my own hands.

Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success.

Very often, I don't make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises.

I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.

It is fatal to let people suppose that Christianity is only a mode of feeling; it is vitally necessary to insist that it is first and foremost a rational explanation of the universe.

For my money, if I'm playing anything then it has to have some sharp angles on it. It's got to have some edges that you can cut yourself on, otherwise it's boring.

I spend a lot of time alone so I get a lot done. I don't do much else but work, check things out.

Culture is the widening of the mind and of the spirit. It is never a narrowing of the mind or a restriction of the human spirit or the country's spirit.

I have thoroughly compromised your niece," Alex declared. "Will you plase insist that she marry me?" Caroline didn't bat an eyelash. "This", she announced, "is most peculiar.

I don't see life as an opportunity to see how far you can go in the pursuit of pain, although I think I've challenged it a bit.

My mother left me for seven years in an orphanage.