I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Many a month of gloomy unconsciousness rolled over me, without date or notice. One thousand waves may welter over a sunk wreck, and be felt as one.

Knowledge is an affair of symbols and is, all too often, a hindrance to wisdom, the uncovering of the self from moment to moment

We have to acknowledge the progress we made, but understand that we still have a long way to go. That things are better, but still not good enough.

My past is my shadow, it follows me everywhere I go. Well, all those things come from when I had no other choice. They put my back against the wall. I do what I gotta do.

I never talk about a job before the contract is signed and I've shot the first three days.

For me, I don't go in the backdoor. That's the one thing I don't do.

Look at the sparrows; they do not know what they will do in the next moment. Let us literally live from moment to moment.

The tough thing about writing is you go into a room alone, you close the door and you do your work.

Life is much simpler if you don’t notice anything.

I love to walk in the forest and take my bike. I love to watch the little birdies. I'm a green person.