It's very easy to live here. You're anonymous here. Nobody knows who you are.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I needed. It all started happening after that.

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

There's no such thing as 'too late!' That's why they invented death!

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie.

My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.

We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?

Get out of show business. Its the best advice I ever got, because Im so stubborn that if someone would tell me that, I would stay in it to the bitter end.

In your own life it's important to know how spectacular you are.

A question asked in earnest, deserves an earnest answer.

The compact which exists between the North and the South is a covenant with death and an agreement with hell.

I was obliged to stand there, holding the leash of this creature for their welcoming publicity shots, implying that this was some kind of image the decided to have of me.

I really like Kansas City Royals stadium - Kauffman Stadium.

Whatever it took to help Taiwan defend theirself.

I am very suspicious of people.

I didn't start grieving for my mother properly until I was maybe 16.

Let every family meet once a day or week for a real hearty sing, and their sing will give them more pleasure than they will take all the rest of the day.

Misfortunes one can endure--they come from outside, they are accidents. But to suffer for one's own faults--ah!--there is the sting of life.