Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I needed. It all started happening after that.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

There's no such thing as 'too late!' That's why they invented death!

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie.

My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.

We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?

Get out of show business. Its the best advice I ever got, because Im so stubborn that if someone would tell me that, I would stay in it to the bitter end.

I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.

The diamonds glinted under the glare of the chandelier and they looked like a thousand spider eyes

It means we're looking one way, while following another. We're for one side and also the other. We mean what we say, but our intentions are different.

Cheating is not an accident. It's a choice.

In the end all books are written for your friends.

When the United States fought in Vietnam, it was organized modern technology versus organized human beings, and the human beings won.

I learnt all the words worthy of the court of blood So that I could break the rule I learnt all the words and broke them up To make a single word: Homeland.

Death is not the enemy; living in constant fear of it is.

If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground.

Thhe essence of documentary filmmaking is how you manipulate the material to create an emotional impact, as opposed to just delivering information.

Ultimately, the roast turkey must be regarded as a monument to Boomer's love.