It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Ask the Lord to reveal to you the reason why He created you

Though you recite much scripture, If you are unaware and do not act accordingYou are like a cowherd counting others' cattle, Not a sharer in the wanderer's life.

It's a good thing to see that people can heal after they've been broken, that they can change and become something different from what they were before.

People are like birds - from a distance beautiful: from close up those sharp beaks those beady little eyes.

All memory is fiction.

Punctuality is the politeness of kings.

Women love a sick child or a healthy animal; A man who is both itches them like an incubus.

When I try to describe myself to God I say, 'Lord, remember me? Black? Female? Six-foot tall? The writer?' And I almost always get God's attention.

The United States is a fake country.

There have always been Starkadders at Cold Comfort Farm